There is a contest on indiblogger.in, an online forum for Indian bloggers, that ends at midnight. The topic is 'How the internet is fun on the Mobile'.
A topic like this would have me thinking - under normal circumstances. But normal they are not: There is a deadline and it is less than 90 minutes away. So there's no time to tax the grey cells (pun not intended on cells), to come up with ideas (no connection to Idea, the cell phone service provider that you subscribe to when you are dead, in heaven and dressed like Jitendra). Instead, it is the fingers that are now doing the thinking. And since that's the case here's some fingering:
The most important mandatory requirement to take part in this contest is to provide a link to www.vodafone.in/fun, so here it is: the link.
But why am I, an intermittent blogger who writes for fun, taking part in this contest? The answer lies in the prizes:
1st Prize: Macbook Pro + 2 Tickets for the IPL Finals with hospitality.
2nd Prize: Sony Playstation 3 + 2 Tickets for the IPL Finals with hospitality.
3rd Prize: Sennheiser Headphones
4th Prize: Zoozoo Bean Bags
Naturally, I am gunning for the first prize. Not particularly because I want to bear the air fare to Chennai to watch the IPL Finals and partake of hospitality (what does that word mean? And why?) But because I am an Indian and I was told in no uncertain words by my parents, siblings, extended family, teachers, neighbours, friends, friends' parents and everyone I ever had a conversation while I was growing up - You have to come first! In school, in tuition classes, in sports, in the queue at the milk centre (yeah, I am that ancient). Break the queue if you have to, jostle, push, shove, trample, bribe - do what it takes, but come first. This 'Coming first' business is so ingrained in our culture that a recent worldwide research conducted by Clayboy Magazine showed that all men surveyed in India suffered from premature ejaculation.
The research results were a major cause of celebration because we were so proud that we came first in 'Coming first.'
But then, as I ran my finger up the list of prizes, a thought struck me. Zoozoo Bean Bags make sense - I can curl up on one and surf the internet on my mobile all day long while causing permanent damage to my spine. Sennheiser Headphones make sense too - I can plug them into my mobile and watch unsuitable films on the internet with the volume on and nobody would be any wiser.
But Sony Playstation 3? Isn't that supposed to be connected to the TV? Are you giving me an option to put away my internet-enabled mobile and engage in something else? And the Macbook Pro dude? Sure I would love that and especially love checking those videos out on its wide screen with kickass resolution instead of on a matchbox sized screen of my cell phone.
2 Tickets for IPL Finals - You guys actually want me to go to a big stadium and watch the real thing, real time instead of the slightly delayed online telecast on my matchbox cell phone screen in my cramped Mumbai apartment?
These prizes are not making sense. Nope, not even to my fingers, as I let another opportunity to win first prize slip through those very fingers by making fun of a serious topic like 'How the internet is fun on the mobile'.